The Sinner's Disobedience to God

Pharaoh, when Moses announced to him the orders of God for the liberation of the Hebrews, insolently answered, “Who is the Lord, that I should hear His word? . . . I know not the Lord.” (Exodus 5:2) It is thus that the sinner replies to his own conscience when it intimates to him the divine precepts, which forbid him to do that which is evil: “I know not God; I know that he is my Lord, but I will not obey him.”

Thus have I too often addressed Thee, 0 God! when I have committed sin. If Thou hadst not died for me, O my Redeemer! I should not dare to crave Thy pardon; but Thou hast offered me Thy it; I am sorry for having despised Thee, my sovereign good. I will rather die than offend Thee any more.

Thou hast broken my yoke; thou saidst, I will not serve. (Jeremiah 2:20) The sinner, when tempted to commit sin, hears indeed the voice of God, saying to him, “My son, do not revenge thyself, do not gratify thyself with that infamous pleasure; relinquish the possession of that which is not thine.” But by yielding to sin, he replies, “Lord, I will not serve thee. Thou desirest that I should not commit this sin, but I will commit it.”

My Lord and my God, how frequently have I, not by my words, but my deeds and my will, thus daringly replied to Thee! Alas! Cast me not away from Thy face. (Psalm 50:13) I am now sensible of the wrong I have done Thee in parting with Thy graces for the gratification of my own wretched desires. O that I had died rather than ever offended Thee !

God is the Lord of all things, because he has created all. All things are in Thy power, because Thou hast made heaven and earth, and all things that are under the cope of heaven. (Esther 13:9) All creatures obey God; the heavens, the earth, the sea, the elements, the brute creation; while man, although he has been gifted and loved by God above all other creatures, obeys him not, and is heedless of the loss of his grace!

I give Thee thanks, O God, for having waited for me. What would have become of me, had I died in one of those nights in which I went to rest under Thy displeasure? But as Thou hast patiently waited for me, it is a sign that Thou art desirous of pardoning me. Pardon me then, O Jesus! I am sorry above every evil for having ever lost the respect which is due to Thee. But
then I did not love Thee; now I do love Thee more than myself, and I am ready to die a thousand times rather than again forfeit Thy grace and friendship. Thou hast said that Thou lovest those who love Thee. (Proverbs 8:17) I love Thee; do Thou love me in return, and give me grace to live and die in Thy love; that so I may love Thee forever. Mary, my refuge, through thee do I hope to remain faithful to God until the hour of my death.